Virginia Music Flash
“At Virginia Music Flash, we’re no strangers to entertainment.”
Kinda rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Does it make you want to peruse us? Does it make you want to clue in the music, past present and future, of Virginia. . . of the world? And lots of other stuff besides?
Does it make you want to dive into the ever-evolving
Virginia Music Flash?
If that’s the case, go. Run for your life. Scoot! Click onto Virginia concert dates, detailed club and tourist information, interviews with national figures in music and the arts, musical retrospectives and features, plus reviews of the latest in discs and vinyl, from majors to Indies, in many genres– you might not even want to read it all. It’s too much. There’s even some stuff that you might be able to USE. But do it now. Go somewhere. Really. Click to yer demographic icon of choice. We’re going to be awhile on this spiel. . .
Anyway, “At Virginia Music Flash, we’re no strangers to entertainment.”
In true told-you-so fashion, the demographics department at Virginia Music Flash yelped for months about how nifty slogans like “At Virginia Music Flash, we’re no strangers to entertainment” would transform the web site of our eclectic, regional tabloid into a world publishing power the likes of which Rupert Murdoch-types would be proud to hog-tie, rape and intellectually stifle. Finally, as with the CD players we all got at Christmas that one time, the Guys ‘n’ Gals at Virginia Music Flash finally begrudged itself in submission. Yes, we needed a world wide-wise address and compartmentalized infoline fit for publicizing the magazine. WE DON’T HAVE A CLUE WHAT THAT MEANS. . . but Virginia was an IDEA, and it might even be an idea fit for billboards, citybuses, cyberbars and that inevitable Turner-like takeover or, at the very least, some ridicule from the folks down at Microbrew “blues night” over at the Widespread Billiard Bar. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
So here it is “At Virginia Music Flash, we’re no strangers to, um, entertainment.” Yeah, we see what you mean– it is a little forced and glossy. It’s still better than a few of our other choices. There was “At Virginia Music Flash, we’re working on a haiku” and there was also “It’s Virginia Music Flashppppalicious!” Charlie O. took a special fancy to “At Virginia Music Flash, it all sounds good at one level but then something suddenly wakes you up, and you find yourself in a maelstrom of seething puss– ain’t that a bitch?” while “Virginia Music Flash. . .makes you get coffee and cigarettes” was a dark horse candidate amongst the interns for some darn reason– nor can we forget the first permutation of the approved slogan
“At Virginia Music Flash, we’re not strange entertainment.”
(What are you STILL doing reading this tripe??? Seriously click onto a zillion other more interesting things on this site worth your download time– humorous culture columnists like Kyle Hogg,a little wonder of venom who goes by the name of Big Glenn Danzig, Virginia Music Flash‘s monthly NO NO NO rant, racy fiction, articles on books and film . . brought to you by Virginia Music Flash, formerly known as Catharsis Monthly, not to mention a gaggle of other Virginia ‘zines and scenes? Hey, there’s even a pop quiz to make sure you are paying attention– so go on!!)
Anyway. . . where was I?
Oh right. There were even paranoid questions like “What if music is dead?” and “Why not give that consultant’s survey money to the employees?” whispered in a nearby food court, while cowardly graffiti was found in hard-to-reach places in the Virginia Music Flash editorial lavatory saying just, really, awful mean things about places like Croaker Norge and the Fan district; meanwhile secret notes were said to have been passed in an upstairs store room that read “Overthrow the tyrannical publisher and his Bligh-like forays into electronic data!” (which wasn’t a bad slogan in and of itself). The sociological repercussions almost stopped us from compiling the best of our magazine’s many years of idiosyncratic local and national music coverage, as well as work published in other fine regional mags like Dodobobo, David Scott, Starboy, The Purge, Bold Print, Original Cool, and Shelf-Life. All in the name of some kinda commercial enterprise that also says,
“Hey world– look over here. Right here. Yeah, Virginia.”
But it was tense up here, brother. Whew. Even the normally unfazable Virginia Music Flash columnists, cartoonists, feature writers and reviewers– featured prominently– shied away from the office, sending in fax’d columns and suggestions from places as far away as Ghent, Benns Church and Adams Morgan. The cowardly publisher filed his detailed and informative “tourist info” blurbs from (he says) a secret hideaway, yet he neglected to bring back South of the Border back-scratchers to make up for his lack of leadership at such a delicate time of communication jumping.
(Which leads us to our other potential slogan “Hank, why do you drink? Hank, why do you publish Virginia Music Flash?” And also leads us to the pressing question WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL READING THIS? Serious beeswax– click to the site’s coverage of Virginia and D.C.-area music, local interviews, current discs from Virginia artists, regional band sites and soundbites, even a free musician’s referral so that you can start making your own music. . . ANYTHING else!! Now. Go. Don’t stay for the ending to this thing– it isn’t worth it. THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS DAMN THING JUST ISN’T WORTH IT!!! )
Finally, our infighting about the slogan passed and the electronic chapter of the Virginia Music Flash / Virginia Music Flash saga is now up and on. The demographically-sound sloganeering is set in stone at the ODU Fieldhouse, and the fire is now blazin’ (though– to paraphrase Billy Joel– we didn’t really START it). Our synergists have since been paid off in crisp bills and people all over can now dial up a slice of the the Commonwealth of Virginia by simply typing in. . .
Virginia Music Flash
(Cue loud orchestral music. We warned you. . . )
. . . And those people, the ones mentioned above, the ones who dialed, they can know! Know with confidence that Virginia Music Flash is not a stranger to entertainment, not even a mere acquaintance to entertainment.
Rather. . .
Virginia Music Flash is entertainment’s very close personal FRIEND!!