Like a mother on "The Today Show" said this morning regarding teenage peer pressure, kids feels they've got to be "in on the beat." That's my new fave phrase-- in on the beat my man! Now if most of y'all are like that woman's kid then you're more than likely dumbasses with a bunch of old Janes Addiction and Soundgarden tapes that your sister's boyfriend dubbed for you laying on the floor of mama's car somewhere doing nobody any good. Here's your chance to get in on the beat by getting your head out of the internet and into the U.S. Postal Service. There's this really Iverson / Stackhouse group out in Reno, N.V. called M.O.M (a.k.a. Mofo Outreach Ministry) and they're gonna fix up those wasted tapes you've got. What you do is send tapes to them and they record good stuff on them for absolutely free-- all you pay is the postage. That's got to be better than nudie pictures on the computer. They got a catalog out now of all the stuff you can get from them and it's chock full of interesting stuff. I myself got John Oswald's "Plunderphonic." Oswald is known for doing those Grateful Dead mix jams and "Plunderphonic" is one of his earlier tapes where he mixes (among others) Michael Jackson, the Beatles, Elvis, Bing Crosby, Dolly Parton, James Brown, Public Enemy and Metallica into a soundwave of crushing consequences. I also got "The Incredible Shrinking Roger Rabbit" show which mixes dialogue from The Incredible Shrinking Man, Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the Rocky Horror Picture Show to tell the story of a young couple who try to get help at a castle where an incredible shrinking man lives-- destined to become a classic. I also got a live Negitivland show from 1990 at the Knitting Factory-- all for the cost of postage and it only took about a week. Most of the tapes are in the deep underground homemade style so you find any Dr. Dre or Bush bootlegs here but they do have "Funktisit," which is Parliament, Funkadelic, P-Funk All Stars, Lakeside, Ohio Players, Zapp and Bootsy all 4-track mixed in Living Stereo. Sounds like a party. Write to Mofo Outreach Ministry at P.O. Box 2704, Reno, Nevada 89505 and ask them to send you a catalog of their great tape selection. You got nothing to lose and everything to gain-- peer pressure will slip away like a rainy day once you prove to your friends that you are in on the beat. I missed all you folks.
Love,
Kyle Hogg publishes the excellent "Bold Print," available from 3309 W. Grace #2, Richmond, Va. 23221.
Art by Mudie