'The Deviled Eggs Are Delicious' by Dave Harrison
Of the numerous directors on view at this year's Virginia Film Festival, the four most celebrated-- Alfred Hitchcock, Michaelangelo Antonioni, Cecil B. DeMille and Arthur Penn-- have something in common, a link that has nothing to do with special effects, Oedipal complexes, McGuffins, or any theories on auteurism. On the contrary, each-- at least once-- has mastered the "party scene," that cinematic staple that may rival the car chase as American filmmakers' chief talent. Cary Grant once said the cinema taught us how to make romance. I actually learned that stuff from Gore Vidal essays; what I learned from movies is how to mix a drink, how to drink a drink, and how to toss a drink over my left shoulder when the needle touches down on the bossa nova record. Think of a soused Ingrid Bergman drinking away her traitorous father's sins in Hitchcock's Notorious, or the mad bourgeois soiree aboard a zeppelin in DeMille's 1930 vintage Madam Satan, Antonioni's psychedelicized, jazzercised parties in Blow-Up, and the era-defining, liquored-up loopiness of Penn's The Chase. You don't need party favors to create a great celluloid shindig, just a couple of stiff drinks, a savvy bartender, and music that works out some variation of the Watusi, the Charleston, or the Mother Popcorn. The best era for said scenes, hands down, was the mid-1960s, when guys and gals would gulp their boilermakers and frug at the drop of a pillbox hat. Here's a few scenes for starters; and don't forget to try the deviled eggs. They're delicious.
Best Choreography: The Chase (1966) As scary, in its own way, as the underwater corpse scene in Jaws. Smart southerners throw a party right after an armed robbery. They then begin an impromptu session of "the shotgun" dance--with fake machine gunnery and shouts of "bang bang"--sending sofa pillows, toothpicks and ice cubes flying. Martha Hyer is tops as a cheated-on wife trying to put the make on a (relatively) young Robert Duval. Music: generic watusi. Drink: vodka and tonic. Line: "Mary, nobody's gonna dance with you when you're all tanked up."
Best Masquerade Party: Madam Satan (1930) DeMille outdoes himself with this bourgeois decadence-aboard-a-dirigible. There are at least two first-rate devils, and the music alternates between highbrow classical and lowbrow Cab Calloway-style jazz. Drink: "straight vodka." Line: "What's with all these crazy Frankensteins?"
Best Dialogue: Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970) Everything about this 12-minute-plus party scene is first-rate. It has the strongest drinks, the grooviest music, the shortest skirts, the tightest trousers, the coolest bartender, Ashley St. Ives' feet, and the smartest dialogue, thanks partly to scriptboy Roger Ebert. When party host Z-man exclaims "It's my happening, and it freaks me out!" he has reason to be excited. Drink: "Just a vodka and tonic, I think, please." Music: see Line-- Line: "Wow, I've been to parties where they played records by the Strawberry Alarm Clock, but I've never been to a party where the Strawberry Alarm Clock played!"
Best Literary Party: Youngblood Hawke (1963) Pretty-boy truck driver James Franciscus is the new literary sensation of Gotham City. Suzanne Pleshette throws an upscale party to show him off. Music: cocktail jazz. Line: "I'm under strict orders from Fanny to introduce the most distinguished new writer in New York to our most distinguished critics; Quentin Judd: Youngblood Hawke."
Best Adaptation From A Literary Work: The Love Machine (1971) Finely excerpted from Jacqueline Susann's trashy bestseller. The partying doesn't last long, but Dyan Cannon's halter top rules. So does the dialogue-- complete with every L.A. let's-make-a-deal and let's-get-it-on cliche (she: "Hello, how've you been Scorpio." he: "Just fine... Pisces?"). David Hemmings hosts. Drinks: scotch and water; "vodka on the rocks, very tall." Music: generic Billy Preston-style space funk. Line: "Don't worry about Alfie, darling, he's the bitch of the world."
Best Outdoor Party: Look In Any Window (1962) Unjustly overlooked vehicle for beefy Paul Anka, who plays a masked peeping tom. Jack Cassidy steals this one as the alcoholic town romeo who can't keep it together at his annual 4th-Of-July pool party. Line: "That's ginger ale? Then I'm Little Orphan Annie. Here, have some good stuff." Music: generic watusi. Narcotic: Cassidy's summer slacks.
Other Contenders: Half A House Is Better Than None (1975) This D.C. UHF staple, a mid-'70s TV movie, involves interior-designer-wife Bitsy and architect-husband Jordan, who throw a party that leads to disagreement , separation, then Vaseline-lense remebrences. The house is hideous, the turtlenecks obscene, the hair-styles vapid, and the party a middle-age cruise-a-thon success. Drink: "I'll have another martooni." Music: Muzak. Line: "Pretty foxy pad, Jordan."
She-Devils On Wheels (1968) Excellent Hershell Gordon Lewis flick. The party starts with biker-babes-in-denim auctioning off biker-boys-in-denim, for party and pleasure. Drink: domestic beer. Line: "Okay, the music's on, the booze is on ice, and all us girls are ready, so let's make it!"
Baby, It's You (1983) Surprisingly touching dorm-room party, with Rosanna Arquette slowly losing it as she sucks bong hits with pals. The Velvet Underground's "Venus In Furs" is the soundtrack. John Sayles directs.
Sweet Ecstacy (1961) French import, with the incomparable Elke Sommer in the first of many excellent party performances. This one's aboard a ship, with Elke somehow tied to a bedpost. Drink: red wine. Music: trumpet-and-bongo mexicali. Line: "I'm afraid this party has grown rather monotonous. So I, Matty Phillips, have decided to rescue you from tedium by auctioning off my mistress, Elke." Honest.
Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961) Okay, so Audrey Hepburn is miscast as a hip AC/DC swinger who throws an impromptu Manhattan bash. The choreography is outstanding, the dialogue sparkling, and there's an entrance halfway through that shows off director Blake Edwards' talent for moving people in and out of scenes. Drink: martinis. Music: Mancini.
The Horror Of Party Beach (1963) Teens party in Stamford, Connecticut, before nuke-induced zombies spoil the fun. Drink: ginger ale. Music: Local surf-rock band the Del-Aires perform "(Do The) Zombie Stomp."
Darling (1965) Trust me on this one. A truth-or-dare party somewhere in France, as masked revellers ask Laurence Harvey and Julie Christie way-too personal questions. Spooky bongo-driven voodoo music. Drink: rum-somethings. Line: "Who, in this room, is the last person you made it with?"
Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1988) Barbie-doll Karen Carpenter throws a party for her "new L.A. friends" after finally getting her own place at the age of 25. Barbie-doll Dionne Warwick shows up, wearing way too much rouge. Line: "Dionne, I'm so glad you could come." ö The Angry Breed (1969) An MGM cheapie shown occasionally on the Ted Turner empire. James McArthur steals this one as a whip-yielding clown at an acid-soaked costume party. Music: instrumental acid-surf rock. Line: "Dance [pause]. You may [pause] dance."
Cleopatra Jones And The Casino Of Gold (1974) Soulful Pam Greer and whitebread Stella Stevens scowl at "disco-style" party that serves as prelude to violent health club bloodbath. Great performances by both ladies' henchmen. Music: orchestrated disco. Drinks: champagne for Stella; scotch and water for Pam; sloe gin for the supporting cast. Line: "You call that dancing, bitch?"
Head (1968) The Monkees throw a surprise party for Mike. Music: "Do I Have To Do This All Over Again?" Rant: "You're saying 'happy birthday' and you're jumping out of the wall and it's scaring me to death and it's some kind of a big joke, and I'm supposed to be happy about that? If you want me to come to a party, you don't kidnap me, you send me an invitation. And I'll tell you something else, too: the same thing goes for Christmas."
I Want To Live! (1958) Susan Hayward cuts loose as an anti-heroine B girl murderess. Supposedly based on a true story, but I can't believe anyone partied like this in the early-'50s. Music: bongo solo.
Chu Chu And The Philly Flash (1982) Carol Burnett and Alan Arkin throw a backyard bash, and somebody thinks he might have had a Gimlet and gotten drink. Kind of like that song by America about an eponymous horse. Music: adult-oriented disco. Line: "The deviled eggs are delicious."
Riot On Sunset Strip (1967) Now try to follow me. Mimsy Farmer is the daughter of the L.A. Chief Of Police, but her divorced parents have pawned her off on an alcoholic grandma. Mimsy, itching to rebel, falls in with a bad crowd. They hear about a "freak-out." They go. Mimsy takes a dose of LSD. She hallucinates that she's (you guessed it) Alice In Wonderland. She let's five boys sleep with her. Neighbors complain to the cops about loud music. When the cops bust in, headed by the L.A. Chief Of Police (?!@), only Mimsy is left. Rebelliously, she tells her pa that she enjoyed all the attention. He promises to be a better parent. Drink: hootch from a flask. Music: Booker T.-style dance tunes. Dialogue A: "Put some sounds on the hi-fi, willya. And make it something wayout." Dialogue B: (Teen 1:) "Hey, I brought some joints, just in case." (Teen 2:) "That's your bag, baby. Tonight, I brought the milky way."
Mr. Arkadin (1955) Orson Welles cuts loose with a party by an amnesiac-millionaire financier. Cool kiddie race track, and nice use of a beach ball in the dining room. Drink: red wine. Line: "About that call of yours..."
TV Bonus
The Dick Van Dyke Show: Rob hits his head, thinks he's a G.I., and shows up at a swinging cocktail party in central NYC, dancing and romancing with Goldie Hawn lookalike. Laura, at home, frets.
The Jeffersons: George throws a party to celebrate expansion of dry cleaner chain. Mr. Bentley disco-dances to The Bee Gees. Florence-the-maid makes fun of the dance. Louise frets.
Batman: Batman goes to a hip party, drinks orange juice laced with something-or-other, and dances the "Batusi" with a busty henchwoman. The room spins wildly. Robin, watching on the car Batmonitor, frets.
I Dream Of Jeannie: So many good ones to choose from. Two of the best: Major Healy throws a "mod party," even though he and Tony are supposed to be on maneuvers. The Bellows show up and Amanda swings with a hippie. Dr. Bellows frets. Col. Peterson's daughter, who is on to Jeannie's secret, makes Jeannie lodge her and her hippie boyfriend. They throw a "mod party" at the Nelsons', with trippy dance music by The Lewis And Clarke Expedition. Jeannie blinks up some ice, and then all the hippies do "The Jeannie." Major Nelson frets.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show: Mary dates a younger guy, and she realizes just how little they have in common when he invites her to a pot party hosted by his swinging friends. Mary frets.
A Charlie Brown Christmas: Pigpen, Lucy, Violet, Linus, Peppermint Patty, Marci, and Franklin dance to piano-trio jazz on the stage where they're supposed to be rehearsing their Xmas play. Charlie Brown frets.